How Could I Run A Missionary School?
Through the precious works of the Father, many people received salvation each day while we lived in Padong. One day, I was praying to God when He struck the heart in me to start a missionary school. But I was highly irritated because running a missionary school itself was something so burdensome to me. “How could a person like me run a school?” The fact that this was a school was extremely burdensome. I had no idea how to start a school, or how to gather students. This was not only true with running a missionary school. Whenever I prayed to the Lord and read the Bible, God constantly struck hearts to do new things in my heart, and every single one of them were burdensome. When God first raised the heart in me concerning the missionary school, I said, “God, I cannot do it. How can I possibly run a missionary school?” But God did not say anything. I thought, “Ah, I guess this means it is okay to not do it.” Several months passed and when I prayed, God again stirred up the heart to do a missionary school within me. Clearly there were two hearts. There is the heart of God, and the other was the thought of man. I knew that God wanted me to open and run a missionary school, but that was so burdensome according to the thought of man. “Maybe something else, but how could I open a school? That’s impossible.” I thought I could not do a missionary school and said to God again, “God, how can I possibly do a missionary school?” When God would not say anything and it seemed that God was keeping his peace, I thought that it was okay to not do the missionary school and some time passed. But God again spoke. I thought He had forgotten but He stirred up the heart in me again after a little while. I said, “I cannot do it....” On one side of my heart but at the same time thought, “If I were to do it, how would I do it? How should I begin?” I saw such hearts arising in me and my thoughts flowing that way. I still thought that I could not do it but one day I came to know that this heart was not my heart but the heart of God and that God was pleased of doing the missionary school. While I was preaching the gospel until now, God has made much work for me. In building a chapel, buying land, in running a missionary school, in mission abroad, in publishing books, in doing grand conferences, or in doing the IYF, there was not one thing I could do. Because I am not a person who is able to do such work, those things were so burdensome and I wanted to avoid it every time God struck the heart to do these thigns within me. But God spoke to me repeatedly, and He changed my heart to do these things.
Pastor, You Can’t Even Feed Yourself...
I had no idea whatsoever how I should start a missionary school. At that time, we were renting the second of a small Chinese restaurant called Hwashin Banjum as our church, in Padong, Daegu, and we did not have many members. My family often went through difficulties because we could not pay for the bus, and we often were unable to eat because we were short on food. I had no idea how to start a school in such a time. One day, I spoke to a few brothers and sisters about the missionary school. And this was what they said. “Pastor, you can’t even feed yourself and you often go hungry. If you gather students, what are they going to eat? It’s not going to work.” Not one of them positively accepted me doing a missionary school. Even I felt so and it was only natural that the brothers and sisters felt that way. But when I continually prayed and read the Bible, I had the heart, “This is not my thought! This is the will of God! If God had willed this, then it is not I that is doing this, but God will accomplish it. If it is God who stirred up this heart in me, God will accomplish this heart.” I began to incline my thoughts to the direction of starting a missionary school. But the desolation remained the same. Right then a thought came to mind. There was a doctor named Young-bin Lim who was related to my mother-in-law. He was the general manager of the Korean Bible Society in its early years. When he was presented to the Queen of England to establish the Korean Bible Society, the Queen said that she would support Dr. Young-bin Lim and it was said that he even received a kiss on the cheek. He was knowledgeable in everything, good at English, and well educated, and I thought that he could help me. I went to Seoul and met Dr. Young-bin Lim. Because I was a nephew-in-law to him, he welcomed me very happily. As I showed my will about the missionary school, I suggested, “Dr. Lim, come and help me start a missionary school.” He was extremely joyous when I spoke to him about the missionary school. “This is something that is absolutely necessary. You, you must do this. I so badly want to go down with you to do this with you. But as you can see, I am so old. If possible, I would like to do this work with you but I cannot because I am so old. That is why you have to do this.” He gave me many good books he had about spiritual life and said, “I will help you with all of my heart, so rely on God in all you do. But, you must do it with a humble heart.” He at that time filled my heart with courage.
Led By The Hand Of God, Who Sees And Guides
I returned to Daegu with a thankful heart, but still I was clueless as to how to do the missionary school. The church brothers and sisters all opposed and I too had the thought that it would be good not to do this. But I knew that God was urging me and leading this, so I decided to start. I did not put an ad in the newspaper but simply said that I was taking enlistments. It would be worrisome if too many came. There was no place for them to sleep, and there was no place for them to eat. All we had was the second floor of a Chinese restaurant, about 20 to 30 pyeongs in size. That’s where we would have service, eat, and my family and I lived on a corner of that room. I had no idea what to do with the missionary students. It looked absolutely impossible and I did not know what to do. But it was clear that God was pleased with this. This is how we began the missionary school. When I look back now, hundreds of preachers were born through this missionary school, and hundreds of missionaries have come about to go abroad and work. But back then, I could not even imagine it. When Abraham could not have a child in his old age, God saw that Abraham's children were as many as the stars in the sky. In the same way, God saw beforehand that numerous missionaries and preachers would come about from this missionary school. It was only that I was unable to see it that I thought this to be so desolate.