Christ Lives In Me 
Because God led me, who was dirty and filthy and could do nothing, and gave me faith, I came to believe that my sins have been forgiven and that I am washed as white as snow. From the time I believed that fact, I began to enjoy blessings I could never have imagined before because Jesus Christ came to me and led my life. If a man led me, I could be good at doing things in part, but I wouldn’t be perfect in every way. But God is perfect in every way. When I look back at my past, I can’t deny the fact that God has been leading me as my master. Particularly as the Words in Galatians 2:20 read; I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. I could strongly feel that it was not I who lived, but Christ who was alive in my heart and working. In retrospect, when I started preaching the gospel in prisons, broadcasting sermons, publishing books, and started the missionary school, there were many despairing aspects. I used to pray to God feeling frustrated and helpless. And yet, when I look back upon those days, I can’t deny the fact that God led me. 

The Days When I Always Had To Pray, Feeling Dismayed Beyond Words 
In 1973, while I was doing my ministry in Daegu, there were truly many problems. Since I grew up in a Presbyterian Church, I knew about the Presbyterian Church very well, and yet, I had never seen a church where born-gain Christians gathered. I never dreamed of leading a church in the Presbyterian Church way I had learned, because I knew that way would never work. This church is a church where God is alive and Jesus is the head. So Jesus can lead the church without any lacking. “How am I supposed to lead the church as minister?” I didn’t know this. So, when I went to Daegu, I really wanted to know the answer. I diligently searched the Bible; Ephesians, 2 Timothy, Esther in the Old Testament. These books in the Bible were Words that taught spiritual aspects of the church, but I could not learn how to lead the church specifically. I felt dismayed since I couldn’t outline the Words about the church. I truly wanted to see the church where born-again Christians gathered. So I read about John Wesley and D.L Moody. Nevertheless, I couldn’t discover anything related to leading the church though there were spiritual Words and the promises from the Bible. It was so dismal. Although I wanted to go to a foreign church where born-again Christians gathered, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. And despite wanting to get hold of a book in regard to that aspect, I just couldn’t find one. Therefore, I always prayed to God while doing my ministry in Daegu. At first, as I did not know how to lead the church, with a few brothers and sisters singing hymns and one brother giving his testimony, I prayed, preached the Word and concluded Sunday service. Afterwards, I preached the gospel to the people who visited the chapel, and I also held retreats. At that time, I started the church with a desperate heart, not knowing what to do. 

In Spite Of The Crises Of Becoming The Same With The Established Church 
As a few years passed by, I could come to know that God was leading our church. It was particularly evident as we have been holding retreats in the summer and winter since then. During those retreats brothers and sisters who listened to the Word changed, and those people who hadn’t received salvation received salvation. Whenever we tried to hold a retreat, there were various problems that arose like not having a venue for the retreat. However, we could see God guiding the retreat. We could feel, “Wow, the living God is truly working inside us!” And I could realize that it was not I who is leading the church, but God. When I look back at my past, there were chances when I could have gone astray according to my wrong judgments, and there were opportunities for me to compromise with the established church. I could have also adopted humanistic methods which weren’t of the Spirit of God. Nonetheless, at those times the Spirit of God led me amazingly, so that the gospel could remain intact. Once, a famous pastor, who was knowledgeable about the Presbyterian Church’s politics, received salvation through me. I often met him and we had prayer meetings together. When he talked about church politics, saying; “You shouldn’t lead the church like this, but in the Presbyterian Church way,” his words seemed to be right in my ears. In the end, we promised each other that he would come out of the Presbyterian Church and found a new church. Unfortunately, he lost his mind as he was fasting for 40 days and became a person who could no longer think normally. My heart ached so much at the time. However, in retrospect, I feel that God protected our church, thinking; “If I had worked with him at that time, our church, too, would have flowed in the same way the other Presbyterian and established churches had. 

That God Has Become The Master Of Our Church For The Rest Of Its Life 
“God is truly leading this church. The head of the church is God. Even though it appears that we are doing something, we are not doing anything.” After I realized these truths, whenever big or small incidents happened in the church, I could have faith and rest in my heart without any fear. Even now, when I do something, things can go wrong, but since God is working and leading me in His path, my heart can take rest. Superficially, it seems as though I am preaching, praying, and reading the Bible. The head of this church, however, is the Lord. He leads people to become born again and resolves big and small problems while working in the church. When I see our hearts being led to the will of God, with which He is pleased, I strongly feel and understand that the head of this church is God, indeed. God, who has been leading our church to this day; God, who has established us within the gospel to this day: I’ve come to believe beyond any doubt that God is the one leading our church. And for the rest of its life, He is the master and head of the church.

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